May 10, 2021

Easy As Pie

Happy Medicating! Today I renewed my medical marijuana recommendation, online. It could not have been any easier, and I should know, I’ve spent 20 + years advising big name brands exactly how to make their online presence easier to use.

NuggMD is not only spending good venture money (my guess) on Search Engine Optimization, claiming top spot in a paid ad listing on Google for search term “renew medical marijuana license online,” but they are also seemingly servicing the entire US, where legal.

For $69, I was put through a series of Yes/No personal questions, such as prior diagnosis of schizophrenia, prior experience with cannabis, and a few open ended questions such as what other medications I am currently taking. Then, I was asked to upload a current headshot of myself, and securely added a photo of my driver’s license. As I was told to wait in the queue, keep the browser opened; within 12 minutes, a doctor from southern California was tryna get through to me. First via phone and text nearly simultaneously, and then, email. I replied via phone immediately and reached a real human, who could see I was already in the queue. I don’t think she was the doctor, but I didn’t ask.

We went through a series of questions to identify me, and then she asked me to describe what cannabis helps me with, to which I replied, insomnia and anxiety. Short answer, no need to elaborate. (I’ve learned.) Moments later, with only the slightest of small talk referencing waiting for the computer, she told me I was approved and would be receiving my card momentarily, via email.

This should save me 10% tax on all my purchases, which have been classified as recreational ever since I let my medical card expire in 2019.

I could go on about how, after the initial sale, they are also pimping their aggregate ordering, subscription and delivery service – describing themselves as a GrubHub for weed; but, they are not yet reaching my zip-code. My curious demand, waitlisted.

Medical / Uncategorized

#onlinemarijuanarecommendation

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About the author

Sista Smoke

Smoking weed is SistaSmoke's most well-developed hobby. Used to be, she would drive down the 280 freeway while grinding, packing and smoking a bowl - or roll her own from start to finish at 80mph. She’ll be the first to tell you, it's all in the knees. Sistasmoke is kind and generous with her weed but at the same time: discreet. You would only know she smokes if someone you had already smoked with had invited you to the party. Back in the day, SistaSmoke was shacked up with a dope grower, and medicinal weed had not yet been legalized, so she's used to being in the closet. SistaSmoke has a shrink who is encouraging her to feel less shame about her weed habit, because it is an important daily ritual and, well, she is in good company. After all, it's legal - to some degree either medically or recreationally, in all but South Dakota and Idaho. Many states are moving toward decriminalization, as well. Morning, noon and night, SistaSmoke is typically partaking. Before leaving the house, before getting in the shower, while waiting for the ferry, in preparation for a zoom call. SistaSmoke feels better when she is always toking, smoking, joking, higher spirits, invoking. Sistasmoke had a conversation with a coffee barista at the farmer's market a while back. Barista said that he'd been on a jury that dismissed the charges against a chronic weed smokin’ driver who'd been up for DUI. The jury felt that he'd proven his consumption habit was such that if his driving was erratic that day, it certainly wasn't because of his weed habit - er, that the weed did not adversely affect his driving. How To prove that one, Sistasmoke wondered aloud. Barista wasn't clear in his answer, or SistaSmoke couldn't retain it cause her short term memory is super short. SistaSmoke is working on changing the narrative of being an addict to staying open minded, staying in learning mode. Weed is a big enabler for SistaSmoke in that way, as in, oops! That was fun, oops, let's try again. Oops, this is gonna take practice, oops let's do it again. Laugh it off, don’t take it so seriously. Seriously. Lighten up. SistaSmoke wishes there weren’t such a stigma surrounding weed usage. Que the bong hits, Bill and Ted’s excellent adventure, Wayne’s world, half-baked, you name the Cheech and Chong mainstream reference. SistaSmoke is about to be fifty, years of age, that is. She is starting the second half of her life way too early but with a fire lit under her to make space in her brain for the new stuff by writing down all these other stories! Clear the way, empty it, dump it - get it on paper, or out in the ether, as it were. SistaSmoke likes talking about herself in the third person. SistaSmoke is tryna hone a voice, develop a style and a point of view, hence; this blog. Follow along and pipe in if you wanna. Lurk if that’s more your style, SistaSmoke doesn’t judge. Or, she tries not to at least. She’ll be the first to confess her shortcomings, so you don’t point them out. SistaSmoke collaborates with her brother, the multimedia-producer and holder of a Master of Arts in Interactive Journalism. He edits, inspires, promotes, maintains, and was the establisher of this blog to begin with. SistaSmoke is forever grateful for the tight bond between herself and her baby bro. SistaSmoke also writes another blog, (link) another another moniker. (link)