Allowing Myself Every Indulgence
Weed has always been a panacea for me. It soothes a frenzied, worried, critical internalized voice and it works almost like magic.
I’m currently in the midst (week 8) of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, a self- directed course, for the second time. It’s a twelve week study in unblocking The Creative Artist Within all of us. Go ahead and roll your eyes in judgement, that’s what most of us who’ve suffered the death of the artist within will do.
When smoking weed while writing (my chosen Art) or creating any other kind of Art that takes regular practice to be any good, being high is a huge asset to me. It allows me to forgive the imperfections, enjoy the unexpected, and indulge in the frivolity of just wasting time doing something that has no expected outcome, nothing that has to be produced at the end of the session. That’s The Art of Living, if you ask me! I mean, I’ve learned The Hard Way that all work and no play can drive you crazy, (This is The Best Clip from The Shining) and so designated Down Time is important for me, especially in the past five years.
Lately that designated down time takes the form of an Artist’s Date – which, for me, means doing something creative with expensive art supplies and a pre-roll or two. So far I’ve taken up watercoloring, pastel, guache, lino-cutting/printmaking, hand lettering, clarinet-playing (left-hand only thus far) and tiny book making from paper scraps and ephemera: all of it, while high. Julia Cameron gives wide leeway for defining Your Artist’s Date – but it must be done weekly, like a religious pilgrimage to The Creator within.
The coolest part is, my shrink agrees with this self-healing path, and furthermore, it seems to be working! I am producing more writing than ever, and I am way more forgiving of an editor than I used to be.
When I feel the enterprise of it all overwhelming me (*line stolen shamelessly from my newest hero Dasha Kelly, poet laureate), I inhale deeply, that magical medicine, an ego-softening elixir that keeps me enjoying the doing of it, whatever it may be. That’s progress.